Okay, I was esoteric. I have been working this for a while. and no... I's not depressed. Just been thinkin...
Every moment of every day is precious. I have decided that any momemt that I am not "present" and conscience about what I am about, I have sold away a part of my day. I seek to treasure each., savoring them
I have to admit that the concept is lovely. But let us be real here... to be present for so much of what is going on with me and around me is exhausting, at times. I am not surprized that I desensitize myself to the current minute and my own reactions. Any given moment can be painful, boring, tiring, overwhelming- all the gamut of emotions that I have carefully schooled my heart to buffer for my brain. I have to just not feel sometimesl... I know that this is not healthy for me or any one around me. So I persist keeping in the moment. I can processs later, right?
Mom used to say that daily living is like body surfing in the ocean. When a wave feels too big for me to swin, I was to straighten out and glide with the current. Then and only then can you swim out of the rip tide and circle back to the safety of the beach, thus surviving an otherwise unsurvivable situation. The trick to is to keep breathing calmly, head above water.
The real trick is to stay alive to be there when it all sorts itself out in the end... It will too, I have seen it with my own peepers. Thank you Jesus!
